The Surge Chapter 1
by crazycarby25
Summary: Carter and Abby have an incident in a trauma room that leaves them to reassess their feelings for each other... but is it too late?


  
  
Electricity surges through the room on command, strong and controlled, enough to force one heart into beating again. But something about this electricity causes other sparks to fly- dangerous, uncontrolled sparks that are equally as likely to kill as to be a life-giving force. And all the electricity is channeled, at once, into two unsuspecting, likely unwilling recipients. Seeing as each of them has had their hands on the metal gurney, the electricity carries through their bodies until it has taken them over, until they are powerless to it, until they must succumb to fuillment of all of its urges. And another surge runs through the room, stronger than all those preceding it, as their lips meet randomly. As gently and innocently as the kiss starts, the electricity continues flowing through their veins and it becomes incredibly passion-filled. Soon, his hands drop from the railings, and one wraps around her waist as the other holds her head, pulling her deeper into him. She, too, has released her death grip on the side of the gurney and shifted her hands to what used to be their usual position, stroking his back with increasing fervor as their kiss heightens. Unbeknownst to them, the others in the room smile and punch each other in celebration, leaving the couple as they whisk the gurney and the man on it off to surgery. The pair step closer together in unison, hands exploring the bodies they once knew so well, tongues exploring the mouths that had spoken words that forced them apart, arms holding one another in the place they formerly called home. And for a moment, all is right in the world again, because the other half of their world has returned. Neither bothers to think about the painful moment in which they will separate again, possibly forever, about returning to a life that isn't what they want. All they know, in this precise moment, is that they love each other, regardless of what will happen in a few minutes, much too soon.

And as is inevitable, it happens. The electricity doesn't stop flowing, just hits them with a jolt so strong they must break apart to gasp for air. They remain in each other's arms for a few, all too brief seconds, her head laying where it always did during the course of their relationship, under his chin, resting on his chest, in the special place he so carefully saves for her alone, as he holds her tightly and she squeezes back. Suddenly, they realize the full implications of the events, and, with searing, unbearable pain that encompasses both of their entire bodies, they break apart. Their eyes dart around the room, searching for something, anything, to focus on, both knowing that if they look at the other, they will again be overwhelmed by the desire to be together, and, for whatever reason, they fear that desire. Their mouths, so full and busy only minutes before, are now satiated only by uncomfortable, choking silence. She lowers her head even further, thrown into turmoil, having spent nearly a year convincing herself she was over him, that she'd never really loved him. And he, too, is ashamed, knowing his pregnant girlfriend is in very close proximity, realizing that he must trust a group of gossip-hungry nurses and doctors not to let this incident be known. Somehow he knows that it is more than an incident, and that it will likely not be isolated- he had realized, some time ago, that even if he ultimately chose to be with his long-term rebound girl, he would still always have feelings for her, that he'd always love her more than he could any other woman. He had just believed that he could control his urges, fill his need for her with meaningless sex with the woman he'd impregnated. Finally, she speaks, attempting to hide the state of confusion she's entered, hoping he's lost the ability to read her mind and identify her feelings, particularly those she desperately tried to conceal. He hasn't, and thus he isn't discouraged when she mutters, without looking at him, "That shouldn't have happened" as he knows that she enjoyed it, and wished it could happen more often, preferably not when it was unethical, as it is now considering he has another girlfriend. A girlfriend, at the very least, considering she's no longer his girlfriend, despite their undeniable love for each other. And he is slightly hurt, though not at all surprised, as she turns quickly and departs from the room, leaving him amongst the used gowns, gloves, and other disposable belongings that are scattered on the floor.

He knows that there comes a time when someone comes and sweeps up these dirtied, inexpensive formalities and takes them to a recycling plant somewhere, and that, after a long process, the secrets of which no one quite knows, they emerge in more vibrant packaging, masquerading freshness but retaining some of their old characteristics. For a moment he wonders if the same is true of him, if Africa or some other experience will serve as recycling, if he will eventually be thought of by everyone as new though still possessing his imminent love for her, and if she, too, will be so enamored by his newness that she chooses him again. He reflects on this for a moment, as Kem passes by the door and waves enthusiastically, blissfully unaware of the infidelity he has felt for the entirety of their relationship. They are similar in that Kem is like the used gown at his feet to him as he is to Abby. She greets him with an embrace, but he looks over her shoulder at Abby, who watches him intently. He doesn't pull her closer, as if demonstrating to Abby the difference between the affection he feels for each. And then, he turns slightly, and Kem, clinging to him as always, rotates as well. It is then that he allows Abby to see that he does not let Kem's head rest on Abby's designated portion of his chest. Abby smiles sadly, then looks away, hoping fervently he doesn't notice the tears forming in her eyes as she views them regretfully. And he, too, is heartbroken, even more so than when she left him standing alone in the trauma room only minutes before, more than when she curtly requested her key back just as a declaration of his love was about to pass his lips, more than when the cruel and untrue breakup letter he wrote her was out of his hands. For now he finally knows, without any words confirming that it is so, that she loves him as much as he does her. But in this moment he also knows that as much as he tries to convince himself he loves Kem, it will always be false, and that he can't be happy without Abby. He has brought upon himself that other woman will bear his child, that he is the father of the antichrist in that he has destroyed his only chance at true love. He prepares to look at Abby one more time, his face likely so full of emotion it can convey almost the full extent of his remorse, but her back is turned and she's shaking, ever so slightly, in what Carter is sure is an attempt to disguise her tears.


End file.
